犀利总结：美剧配角生存攻略

catfelix

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How to survive in American series as a supporting role
　　美剧配角求生攻略

　　1. Show respect to the leading role.
　　向主角示好。

　　2. Try to enter the core team.
　　加入核心团队。

　　3. Whenever you are told there is a monster, believe it.
　　任何时候有人说见到了怪物，一定要相信。

　　4. Never be the first one to open a door or to enter a tunnel.
　　决不要做第一个开门或者进入通道的人。

　　5. Don't be with your brother or sister, one of you will be killed soon.
　　别和兄妹什么的一起出现，你们中的一个用不了多久就会挂掉。

　　6. Be kinda weird, it'll keep you safe for at least 2 seasons.
　　特立独行一些，这至少能帮你撑过前两季。

　　7. Say something cool at times, but don't talk too much.
　　不时说点牛逼的话，但别太唠叨。

　　8. Be an immigrant, such as Latin or Asian.
　　最好是个移民，比如拉丁人或亚裔。

　　9. Make yourself helpful, doctors, cops, technicians and gangsters will have much more survival probability than others such as priests, teachers, scholars, lawyers and politician.
　　你得有点儿用。通常医生、警察、技术人员和黑社会的存活几率远大于神父、教师、学者、律师和政客。

　　10. Be good at driving, better a plane or a boat.
　　一定要开一手好车，最好还会开船和飞机。

　　11. As a badass, you should be funny.
　　如果你是个流氓，你最好很搞笑。

　　12. If you ain't funny, never have try to be a good man.
　　如果你不搞笑，千万别试图改邪归正。

　　13.Never fall in love with a cutie.
　　千万别跟某个大美女好上。

　　14.Get yourself pregnant, if you could.
　　如果有办法，让自己怀孕。

　　15.Don't be fool to take the mission expected to be completed by the leading role, i.e. killing the boss,rescue the leading actress or having sex with her.
　　千万不要傻乎乎地去完成应该由男主角完成的任务，比如干掉反派老大、营救女主角或者跟女主角乱搞。

　　16. the last one: Keep as much distance as you can from the leading role in the ending episodes, then congratulation! You are the only few survivors who can eat the box lunch after the final season.
　　最后一条：在结束的几集里尽量离主角远点儿。好吧，祝贺你，你终于可以作为最后一季硕果仅存的几位幸存者去吃你的盒饭了。

catfelix

the last one: Keep as much distance as you can from the leading role in the ending episodes, then congratulation! You are the only few survivors who can eat the box lunch after the final season.