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糯米宝宝

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list 目录

1. 蒙上金鱼的眼睛Blindfold the goldfish
2. 第二语言 Second language
3. 第一个男人 the first man
4. 安眠药Sleeping Pills
5. 它们是从美国直接带来的 They are directly from America
6. 小聪明petty trick
7. 一种新药A New Drug
8. 我刚咬破自己的舌头I've Just Bitten My Tongue
9. 总感到口渴Always Thirsty
10. 面包和黄油费 Charge for Bread and Butter
11. 吝啬鬼请客 The mean man's party
12. 他真是一个大人物 He is really somebody
13. 摔倒的女人 A Woman Who Fell
14. 吻别 kiss goodbye
15. 两只鸟 two birds
16. 鱼网 The Fish Net
17. 好客 Hospitality
18. 他赢了 he won
19. 庸医  A Bad Doctor
20. 给我那个打赢的吧 Bring me the winner
21. 相亲  Blind Date
22. 孩子眼中的爱情  This Is My Love  
23. 谁的儿子最伟大 Whose Son Is the Greatest
24. 班和笨驴  Class and Ass
25. 区别  Difference
26. 学校假期 A Holiday from School
27. 经典口误


1

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold them!

斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！

gundam_zk

糯米宝宝

2

Second language

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"

一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。

母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。

母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”

sin2008

the second one is funny

gundam_zk

糯米宝宝

3    昨天没来，补发一个

第一个男人 the first man

A teacher said to her class:

"Who was the first man?"

“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly.

"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.

"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."

But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.

"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"

"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."

有个老师问班上的学生：

“谁是第一个男人？”

“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。

“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。

小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”

这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。

“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”

“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”

糯米宝宝

4

Sleeping Pills

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."

"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"

安眠药

鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。

星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”
“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”

糯米宝宝

补前天的

5
They are directly from America

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

糯米宝宝

补昨天的

6

petty trick(小聪明)

Mrs.Adams'old grandfather lived with her and her husband.Every morning he went for a walk in the park and came home at half past twelver for his lunch.亚当斯夫人的老祖父和她夫妇俩住在一起.每天早上,他都到公园去散步,然后在十二点回家吃午饭.
But one morning a police car stopped outside Mrs.Adams' house at twelve o'clock,and two policemen helped her grandfather to get out."The poor old gentleman lost his way in the park and called us for help,so we sent a car to bring him home."Mrs.Adams was very suprised,but she thanked the policemen and they left.但有一天上午十二点的时候,一辆警车停在了亚当斯夫人家门外,然后两个警 察扶着她祖父出来了,"这位可怜的老人在公园迷路了,并打电话给我们求助,所以我们派了辆车把他送回家."亚当斯夫人很吃惊,但她谢了警 察,然后他们离开.
"But,Grandfather,"she then said,"you've been to the park nearly every day for twenty years.How did you lose your way there?""爷爷",然后她说,"二十年来你几乎每天都要去公园,你怎么会在那里迷路呢?"
The old man smiled,closed one eye and said,"I didn't quite lose my way.I just got tired and I didn't want to walk home!"老人笑了,闭上一只眼睛说,"我没迷路,我只是累了,不想走回家!"

糯米宝宝

今天的

7

A New Drug

Jack:I have invented a new drug which could kill lice effectively.
Tom:That's wonderful. How is it used?
Jack:When you catch a louse, just put a little of that drug on its mouth and it will die immediately.

一种新药

杰克:我发明了一种新药能有效地杀死虱子。
汤姆:太棒了。怎么用呢？
杰克:你捉到一只虱子，只要在它嘴上抹一点这种药，虱子就会死去。