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我这个男的升级为老公的是英文版本，把中文的也贴上了。
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INSTALLING A HUSBAND : _% A) @: `# e+ X9 r& _
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Dear Tech Support,
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/ u8 Y" ~1 I; o! u: qLast year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. 3 c! Q. p, i5 {) Z! A
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In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as : X; B- u9 J7 b0 \
·Romance 9.5 and ) Y" r, U+ R: Y/ [0 l1 `2 w
·Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
1 [+ {+ C# `: e5 P5 a% d. [$ U·NBA 5.0, 5 U( U! j* t( {- ?: a7 ~5 L
·NFL 3.0 and
( \* j# ?" j' C/ m· Golf Clubs 4.1. : m; e+ `4 i9 m/ {/ m
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Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
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& X3 X- h0 A# }! ^ x: l( q·Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. - h2 k! j2 F w% D& w! L$ k- U. d
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What can I do? + t' u! s6 s q A/ R
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Signed,
: v) p% f W9 N% r) D( K; m' QDesperate.
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/ U% b6 u% N# K `9 C+ l- a& MDEAR DESPERATE,
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First, keep in mind,
4 D( o8 {- ]' [/ r! ]0 k. a·Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while 3 \9 L" R; _5 h$ G% ], M
·Husband 1.0 is an operating system. , ~) n- s/ X: P6 A0 G$ }' C
1 K( x, L+ I* }$ F; ?& w7 c) wPlease enter command: C:\\ i thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. ) W% A9 c: m. j$ u+ H
·If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. ( i7 s+ W5 V' V6 x; O/ ~
/ w: E F5 `) h! u. L) P XHowever, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. 5 S+ n* X; q* I3 d: q
·Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
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& G0 V! J* z. a- o! g3 M3 rWhatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) 3 J1 W& m) {- K0 t; g8 p
% F0 ?& W( x5 f5 J% H$ |/ o7 fIn addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. : j" P4 m1 \; p! I$ o; l1 Y4 @+ _
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In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7 。/ N3 r/ D7 s. z6 L
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Good Luck Babe! 1 G2 y3 R W9 `6 N% w8 t
Tech Support- a: p- j5 P6 O% f
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亲爱的技术支持部门：
Y, ~( D* h5 A 自从去年把「男朋友5.0」更新成「老公1.0」之后，我发觉整个计算机的效能下降。特别是在送花与送珠宝的部分，过去在没更新以前一直是用得很顺手的。还有，就因为装上「老公1.0」，其它许多好用的软件，像是「浓情蜜意9.5」、「眼中只有你6.5」都自动被删除了；相反地，装进了许多莫名其妙的东西，像是「橄榄球5.0」、「篮球大赛3.0」。现在搞得「枕边细语8.0」已经完全无法使用，「整理家务2.6」甚至每次都让计算机当机。我不想再用「唠唠叨叨5.3」来修理这个问题，因为根本没有效果。我现在该怎么办呢？ - q6 O: |; C: Q
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没指望了敬上
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亲爱的没指望了：
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首先你需要具备一观念，「男朋友5.0」只是一个试用的娱乐软件，而「老公1.0」却是一个实际作业平台。
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) Z' j% u8 c+ k' D0 w 我建议你可以先到计算机档案夹 C:\我以为你一直都很爱我，下载「泪汪汪6.2」，再装上「让他内疚3.0」。试用没问题的话，应该会让「老公1.0」自己启动「珠宝礼物2.0」与「献上鲜花3.5」。 ! X4 U9 w4 \4 F' J7 W( e
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不过要记得，千万不要经常使用，不然会触动「老公1.0」的预设装置，全面降级转换到「爱理不理2.5」、「迟滞不归7.0」或是「苦酒满杯6.1」。「苦酒满杯6.1」是个要不得的软件，它每晚会自动播放「鼾声大作.有声档」。
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还有要记得，不论作什么，就是不能去装「岳母大人1.0」或是其它的「男朋友」软件。一旦装进这些不能兼容的软件，「老公1.0」马上就会报销的，有时连抢救的机会都没有。
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其实，「老公1.0」是个非常不错的软件，只是它的记忆容量有限，而且学新东西的速度慢了一点。
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6 e" s. ~. Y( a8 O# u 或许你愿意考虑装置一些外围辅助的软件，它们能提升「老公1.0」效能与增加记忆容量，甚至能达到「老公2.0」相仿的功能。我个人觉得「热腾腾晚餐6.0」与「嫚妙睡衣6.9」一定会奏效。 ! d* b1 h3 M/ ?6 H) m; V$ O
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祝你成功！2 n6 @; {" q! z' T: A g
p# R$ k. M: |/ b- n' wPK：女友升级为老婆的时候产生程序漏洞! |
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发表于 2009-2-16 14:25
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